In the spirit of the launch of the free  Success E-book by 30 of the worlds most awesome bloggers!  Here is my take on the all encompassing yet hard to define term “success”.

The Marriam Webster Dictionary defines success as the following:

favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence

Well Marriam and Webster whoever you are…I beg to differ…

Success is commonly defined as a destination, an outcome, basically a single point.  That destination is typically determined by the money, status and/or power that the successful person has obtained.  There are some obvious problems with this positioning of the concept of success:

1st: If success is a single point in the road, what was before it and what follows after it?  Every successful person (by societal standards) knows that success was not achieved at one single point in their journey.  It was achieved by failing, stumbling and learning a 1,000 times before you “succeed”. Telling successful people they have “made it” and now “succeeded” is a completely backhand bitch slap to the face of any person who has spent hours grinding, months flat broke and have had their decisions questioned by many of their loved ones.  Those truly successful people have always known they were successful regardless of their external life situation.  They also know that passion does not relinquish once you “make it”.

2nd: Who chose these metrics?  Money, status and power not only focus on the outward and some what superficial nature of success but it excludes millions of successful people that work under a different set of metrics.  Simply reflect on the accomplishments of Mahatma Gandhi.  An individual with little money, status or power led one of the largest political and spiritual movements the world has ever witnessed.  Marriam Webster would fail to declare Gandhi as a “successful” individual.  Live by your own metrics of success not anyone elses!

Without future addo here is how I define success:

-Success is loving who you are and being proud of what you contribute to the world. Achieve it by doing what you love, surrounding yourself with people you love and not settling for ordinary.

Download the free Ebook and checkout what to success is to 29 other successful bloggers.  Don’t forget to checkout the brain child of this collaborative project, Jonny at The Life Thing.

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This post was inspired by my Deadhead mother who has helped shaped my life in the most interesting of ways. I love you so much mom

For those readers that don’t know the Grateful Dead, you will sure know some cultural staples they have helped cultivate, like the Tie-dyed shirts, music file sharing, hippies, and the classic jam session. Simply stated, they are easily one of the most influential bands of all time while taking a different approach from the rest. This post represents a revelation I had which revealed that the Grateful Dead go far beyond their iconic rock and roll status. They created music that not only represented their time but created a movement that was far ahead of its time:

Growing up in a house littered with stickers of dancing bears and skulls, it’s an understatement to say that I was a bit embarrassed of my Deadhead roots. Having a Dead Head mom, I was immersed in a world of music, singing, stack and stacks of cassette tape and peculiar tape traders (don’t ask). The longer I live more I realize that the Dead are embedded within by DNA…and no I am not saying this because I just acquired a bongo drum.

After a weekend coffee shop stop with my mom, I noticed the uncanny parallels between her lifelong journey of Dead Headness and my Social Media passions and work. She constantly shares music with other Deadheads while I constantly share interesting content through the web. She meets interesting people from groups across the country to talk about the Grateful Dead while I meet interesting people on Twitter in hopes of sparking up meaningful relationships. She gets into the zone by turning their music up full blast and humming along while I get in the zone by turning on some Calm Meditation on Pandora and blogging up a storm. I guess we’re not so different after all.

The more I spoke with my mom the more I understood the fundamental implications the Dead have on our Social Media Culture. I am a believer…they are the pioneers of Social Media…

“Social” Media is More Important Than Tradition Media

The Grateful Dead had only one top 40 album, yet they are one of the top grossing bands of all time as they made on average 50 million dollars a year on concert revenue alone (according to Seth Godin’s “Tribes”). How was this at all possible? The answer is very simple: they didn’t focus on gaining fans, they focused on building a community. They ignited a movement composed of faithful community members known as “Deadheads” who lived for the now, the music and the love of the people around them.

The Dead did not make their money from CD sales or other traditional media. They made their money from concert tickets, memorabilia and other concert items. Basically they monetized the longtail! They found a few passionate followers, they gave them the tools to spread the message (free music being one tool), they grew and scaled up (sort of), and put passion before money. Sounds pretty Web 2.0, don’t it?

Sharing as a Pillar of Conduct

Deadheads are renowned for their sharing habits. They have created a network based on trust and reciprocity, much like that of the social web. Deadheads share tapes, CDs, and DVDs of Dead shows (much of the media is not from the original source…Jerry Garcia never cared ). Deadheads build up credibility and become trust agents by sharing great shows, returning what was given to them and knowing their stuff. Do you see any parallels with the social web? Authentic Social Media Marketer’s equity is in their ability to share, reciprocate and gain trust. We share links, blog posts, insightful videos and more in hopes that we add value in people’s lives and gain respect in our community. It’s obvious that both Deadheads and Social Media Marketers learned the art of sharing at a young age.

The People Shape The B(r)and

The Grateful Dead was not maded up of 5-7 people playing instruments on the stage; the group was made up of the millions of people who lived and died by their music. The band was influenced by their followers just as much as their followers were influenced by them. The Dead actually went as far as collecting the names and addresses of Deadheads so they could send them newsletters about the band, gifts and even went as far as asking for direct feedback from their followers.

You will also notice that the majority of the Dead did not dress up in tie-dye and prance like the dancing bears around the stage (Phil Lesh looks and dresses like your dad). Instead, their followers embraced the band’s music and formed a culture and lifestyle beyond the music. They made the Dead the legends that they are now.

Brands that are leveraging social media the right way are embracing their customers beyond the dollars and turning them into true fans. These brands not only listen but actively ask their fans to shape their company; they ignite a culture of sharing and discussion. The Dead’s followers spread their music further than the band could ever imagine. A brand’s true fans evangelize a brand that they love and trust to a level beyond word of mouth. They will become an entity of the brand by authentically promoting the brand and its offering.

Conclusion

The Grateful Dead was more than a band… it was a movement. The same movement is taking shape in the digital space today. Thanks for teaching me your ways mom!

Disclaimer

If you are a Deadhead and are outraged by any small tidbits of misinformation I may have provided in this post, I apologize. I am merely a 2nd generation Dead Baby that ran around dodging spinning people at the concerts. I am not an expert.

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I still have a turkey hangover…You know that feeling of being in a constantly satisfying daze?  And no, I am not alluding to any extracurricular activities.  Anyways that is besides the point.  After having a wonderful Thanksgiving full of family and friends and away from my computer; it was much easier to take a step back and reflect on what I am grateful for.  I look at all the wonderful people around me, the incredible area I live in, my health, my mind and everything else that makes up my life to this point and am amazed at how lucky of a person I am.  Giving gratitude on Thanksgiving is assumed, however I sometimes get caught up focusing on the  things I don’t have instead of giving gratitude for the things I do have.  I don’t have enough money, I have not had a successful startup yet, I am still not in Paris…this misappropriated thought structure can lead to negativity in all aspects of life.  Instead giving gratitude allows one to feel the roll over effect of positivity.  And a positively charged mind can do amazing things.  It may seem hokey to pass out thank yous like handshakes, to thank your parents for what they have done for you throughout the years or to count your blessings each and every night; however small acts such as those can help shed an egocentric mindset that stunts personal growth.  The next questions is: what can I do to give gratitude that will allow me to evolve as a more fulfilled human being?  So in the spirit of Thanksgiving I have put together a short list of ways I will give gratitude from here on out.

1. Smile, greet and/or thank anyone who you pass by on the street, chat up at a register or see at the gym.  Basically, treat each daily occurrence with gratitude no matter how small.
2. Actually tell people close to you that you appreciate them and why you appreciate them.
3. Whenever your mind creates a barrier…count 3 things you are grateful for…then proactively overcome the barrier.
4. When you are not happy about where you are in life.  Take five minuets to writer out some of your past and current accomplishments.
5. Smile more.
6. Tell more people that you love…that you love them.
7. Greet every new day with excitement.

The life I live is an amazing one; it’s extremely powerful that I recognize that.  What are some ways you give gratitude?

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Two memorable things happened last week:  I read a post from one of my favorite bloggers, Carlos Miceli, called “Ignore Reality” and I had a long and deep conversation with my younger brother Matt.  Carlos explored the realm of the completely irrelevant.  He took a look at the statistics, assumptions and boundaries that our society manipulates in order to keep the status quo the status quo.  In school we were told the A student becomes rich and successful, the jock gets the girls and the dumb kid is doomed.  Our entire life we are conditioned to accept this, wave the white flag and be content with whatever comes our way.  At 22 I almost fell into this trap…luckily I recognized something was terribly wrong and now strive to be someone terribly different.  So when my brother called me and needed help to get out of his rut, I was strangely excited.  He wanted to start moving forward but couldn’t figure out how.  While speaking with him, one thing I immediately noticed was when I suggested some possible options there was usually some initial excitement that was almost always followed by a “but”.  My brother is bright, athletic, good looking, charismatic and a leader yet he has trouble getting past the limitations he  imposes on himself.  So with the little wisdom I have, I suggested him to think beyond those limiting thoughts and think “what if”.

“What if you can do whatever you want…what would you do?”

I came to a realization that many people are governed by limiting factors (not the bio term).  Limiting factors which develop in each of us overtime due to over exposure to mediocrity.  These are some of the most dangerous agents in our lives.  They are agents of  restriction, fear and complacency.  They are the thoughts in your head that tell you, “you will never get that job, they only hire Ivy League grads” or “she will never go out with you, she’s way out of your range.” They hold you back from where your heart wants you to be.

So start to challenge assumptions that you have never thought of challenging before.  If something is one way, ask yourself why and find out why.  If you think you can’t do something just go do it.  Take actions which will help you break away from what limits you.  Simply put…unlimit yourself!

Strive to be an outlier…remove yourself from the statistical data.

PS) This is NOT an endorsement for Metro PCS (your welcome FCC)

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Photo by Pink Moose

I just got sick a couple days back. I was exhausted followed with a pinch of body aches. I knew instantly what the cause of my demise was this time around. I was over thinking…my body was telling my brain to slow down and empty out. So I took the next day off “work” (sort of); and tried my hardest to give no light to the over consuming thoughts of client relations, web clutter, launching BlackTop Hoops, emails, personal commitments and all things that take over my brain the majority of the time. That morning, I got a text message from my girlfriend’s mom that read:

“This is the real secret of life, to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” – Alan Watts

And as if it was sent from a bearded man from the clouds or an eight armed deity (whatever your cup of tea is) those words were just what I needed. It was a calming sensation that came over me, allowing me to realize that I was bypassing the fun in what I did and spreading my focus too thin. This realization grew stronger and evolved a bit as I was walking around my neighborhood and getting excited over the change in seasons. I thought to myself, “Why has our culture adopted the notion of working hard and playing hard as our modus operandi? Why has the possibility of work and play as mutually inclusive partners seem so farfetched?” That reminded me of what the networking extraordinaire and bestselling author Keith Ferrazzi, wrote is his book Never East Alone. He boldly states that “balance is a myth”. Instead people should strive to live lives that provoke constant excitement and passion. If you chose to be an entrepreneur you need to embrace the uncertainty while living for the possibilities, if you live the corporate lifestyle you should be fueled by results and be excited for shaking hands with the execs. If you live by this mantra, no balance is needed; you just live life and play!

I have seen “work hard play hard” culture in full force as a student at UC Santa Barbara and by being in sales for a long time. Living this type of lifestyle leaves people unsatisfied and constantly waiting for something better to come around. Everyone is working for the weekend…tru, tru. This mindset is destructive, which was made obvious by me getting sick. Every single day it has been work from 9am to 12am, just grinding and waiting until I get the results I want. Because of that, I rarely allow myself to enjoy the present moment. If you think about it, living about 1/3 of your life “working”, not truly enjoying what you do is absolutely insane!

To all those who have read this, ask yourself, am I living by the work hard play hard mentality. If you are, find a way to make work…play. There’s no reason not to.

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Two of my friends at Machu Picchu

As I was coming home from my Monterey mini-vacation this weekend, I was reminiscing about my world travel adventures that seem like so long ago.  The back packing, the exotic lands, the insatiable intrigue constantly runs through my veins as if I am a meth addict going cold turkey (heroin would have been too extreme).  It has almost been a year since my last international trip and strangely enough I tend to feel a sense of displacement if I am here for too long (no offensive, I love Monterey).  However,  I’m only 24 and at this point I have tallied 12 countries, countless unique experiences and 2362 mispronounced words.  I have to give the credit to my mom for making me realize the virtues of traveling at an early age (actually it was more like forcing me to travel).  If it wasn’t for that push I wouldn’t have seen my first naked woman at the age of 11 on a Australian beach or walked 300 plus steps up a steep hill, at night, in the rain, only to realize the only hotel in the small Italian village was not a hotel at all, but rather, a castle.  However, I believe the essence of world travel goes beyond ones’ unique experiences and instead represents the accumulation of those experiences into shaping one’s perspective.  I am sure you’ve heard, “traveling the world will make you a better person”…well here is why I think that statement is true:

1. Travel forces you to be fully present- Once you’re overseas, many of your  responsibilities, problems and other situations ceased to exist.  Many thoughts that make up your “everyday” day are not needed to fulfill your life while traveling.  Therefore, as Eckhart Tolle puts it, your “mental noise” is at a minimum and you are able to witness the true essence of what is around you (may sound corny, but true).  Process this for one second and ask yourself why is everything foreign more beautiful?  I want to say that most people (including myself) think that the majority of atheistic beauty in the world, have it be: architecture, landscapes, people… is far from home.  Most people will argue that things that are foreign are beautiful because they are exotic, rare, etc…which I agree with.  However, I think the real reason why we find beauty in things overseas is because we create a vast distance between the present moment (overseas) and your chronic thinking (home).  The freedom from your mind allows you to experience the true beauty in things that are typically labeled by your ever churning mind.  Simply put, it is easier to experience life in its purest from.

2. Travel helps you make unlikely friends- When you’re in your social bubble at home, you will probably notice that your friends are very much alike.  They speak the same language, have the same style, are interested in the same topics, so on and so forth.  When you are backpacking overseas you are pushed into a whole new kind of social strata, one which can be very unfamiliar.  Depending on if your mode of travel, you are often forced to create rapport with people just to get by or remain sane.  Therefore, you often create relationships with people from all kinds of different backgrounds.  The best way to make friends overseas is to find a common interest.  If they’re the athletic type start talking about soccer, if they’re of the opposite sex start talking about dating customs…not only will you be able to discuss a topic enjoyable to you but you will get a very unique spin on the topic.  Once the foundation is set, it is usually easy to branch off to more interesting topics of conversation and sometimes more interesting groups of friends.  If you can learn to make friends overseas, think about what type of interpersonal successes you are setting your self up for later down the road.

3. Traveling leads to cultural understanding- CNN and Fox News will give you only one side of the story.  Throughout our country’s history there has always been a culture, religion or country polarized by us in order to keep the world “at balance”.  For example, right now, the concept of Islam (or just the word itself) is scary to many Americans right now, because they associate it with all that is terrifying about the world.  What most fail to notice is that there are direct parallels between our cultures and practiced religions.  Traveling allows you to recognize both the differences and similarities of typically polarized cultures.   An open minded person can find the charm in what is different and the appreciation for what is similar.  When it comes down to it, all cultures is made up of people, and people are people.  Therefore finding understanding  is only as difficult as we make it out to be.

4. Travel forces you to do the uncomfortable- When you’re at home life is simple.  Most people work at the same office everyday, eat the same burrito two times a week and has the same comfortable routine at the gym.  However, when you are abroad your whole world can be turned upside down.  Real vagabonds sleep in in smelly bunk beds face to face with strangers, say funny words like “merci“, “danke” and “kamsamnida” in exchange for food and wear the same clothes for days at a time (or was that just me?).  This is somewhat of a stoic approach to travel, as testing your comfort zone often tests your emotional fortitude.

5. The more you see the less you know- Yes, profound words taken right from the mouth of a singer I heard at a Barnes and Noble..haha.  This is probably the single most important reason why someone should travel…simply to understand that true understanding is unattainable.  To understand that you are a very small element of what makes up a vastly diverse world.  Not to say that every person is insignificant but instead to help people realize that they need to live lives of significance.  Why bog yourself down with little day to day problems when there is an entire world to explore that has never heard of such problems.  The world is much like the internet, the more land you explore or links you click, the more you notice that there is so much to learn.  To most this is a scary thought, to few this is extremely thrilling…try to find the thrill in the unknown!

What are some other reason why traveling the globe may help you become a better person? I am excited to hear some ideas and put them into practice next time I am abroad

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This is much like the dilemma of Generation-Y, we all have a yearning to move forward and experience something different from what our notion of conventional is.  However, even with an obvious climb in entrepreneurship with many leveraging the second generation of the internet, there are still many people Gen-Yers that remain stagnant in a place they don’t want to be.  There are many reasons why someone would not pursue something that excites them, such as: not having money, not understanding the field fully, legal constraints, not having the right team, not having a technical background, so on and so forth.  These reason for not jumping into entrepreneurship are more like excuses then anything else.  They are responses to a person’s fear of uncertainty.  And believe me that fear can be overwhelming, keeping a person in a cube for years.  I believe there is only one way to truly combat that fear, and that is to take action.  By no means will this cure your entrepreneurial anxieties or strike you with a stroke of genius, but it a necessary step in moving forward.  It’s not only a step but it’s a perpetual state you must be committed to remaining in.

In my case, when it came to developing the concept for BlackTop Hoops I knew it was always going to be ONLY a concept if I didn’t jump in the deep end with my blind fold on.  The entire Forrester Research team couldn’t prepare me for the venture was taking, and even in my thoroughly naive state I knew that.  So what did I do?  I sought out the most knowledgeable development team I could find and invested some of my hard earned money in spec’ing the website out and using them to help me iron out my concept.  Worth it?….ask me in 6 months.  Regardless, it made me fully vested in my own success, I took action and didn’t look back.  Although the project is still not fully off the ground, I have had some of the most rewarding experiences of my life building this from the ground up, and nothing more and nothing less than taking action got me here.

Moral of the story: when a lane is open it might be in your best interest to take it.  The fear that there may be something wrong ahead is always going to be there to some degree…but believe me, you will never reap the benefits of the open road if you don’t take action.

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Last Friday was my first and last, last day of holding down a cooperate job…you still with me?  The last 5 months of my life consisted of a headset and three corrugated walls in which I threw up some pics of my girl and other places I would rather be (Paris, Cinque Terre, amongst others).  I called business people, investors and sales people and worked them towards a close every call, 80 or so times a day.  There was tea, lunch, HMO and other “perks”…but given all of that I thought about my project constantly.  Even when I was actually fully present in what I was doing in my 9-5, I was applying what I was learning to my 6-11 passion.

By no means was this a bad job!  It was actually a good job in which I worked along side some talented people and refined my sales skills far beyond what was comfortable.  However, it was a JOB and jobs although much of the time are necessary are at the same time painful when you have dreams.  The good news is that my project did not suffer and now I can dedicate much of my time and mind to developing my brand.

After reflecting on my short stint in the corporate world, I realized that I was constantly balancing between  conscious discipline and mind automation.  Thus, there are pros and cons of the corporate world…here are mine:

Pros

• Steady Paycheck
• Built in mentor system (sometimes)
• Perks (benefits, 401k, coffee)
• Social setting

Cons

• Steady Paycheck-caped
• Limited creativity
• Bureaucratic regulations (not too bad at my job)
• You’re in a cube!

I am not endorsing the reconstruction of the cooperate structure or our fundamental white collar lifestyles; instead I am simply stating that there are options.  Even in the state of economical turbulence where and how you work is still a choice.  Choice of how to live should drive us all!  Think beyond the norm and you will live beyond the norm.  As Tim Ferris says, follow what excites you.

-Brenton

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