CONVOSPARK BLOG

The Pursuit of Fame, Fire, or Famine (what should I do with my life?)

Monday, June 3rd, 2013

The more I learn about the world the more confused I get.

I remember looking up at people in their mid-twenties when I was 10 or so and thinking: “these people have it figured out”.  Now at the age of 28, and assessing what I have figured out, I humbly admit the answer is “very little”.  Investigating some of  society’s current macros trends, it’s more than palpable to conclude that the human race as a whole knows very little as well.  The economy and mother earth are fierce adversaries, our status as individuals tends to supersede the value of the collective community, the food we eat isn’t actually food…and the list goes on and on.

Given it’s now safe to at least anecdotally conclude that we as a species know very little; we are left with little able resources to help answer life’s most pressing questions.  Maybe the most pressing question that we face as autonomous individuals is: “what should I do with my life?”  Since we only have one life to live (that we empirically know of), this question is often met with fear, anxiety, and utter distain.  In a bifurcated world of good and evil, success and failure, and all other dualistic representations, we are led to believe there is one set path.  That those who diverge are lost.  This dangerous belief does not take into account the true networked dynamics of life, and leaves us in a predicament to decide, and therefore kill off the abundant possibilities.

If we are choosing a specific path to take, what are our choices?  I would say we have three: fame, fire or famine.

Fame” is status, traditional notions of success, and power.  Fame lives in the realm of one’s identity, which is more of a fabrication of one’s self than an authentic representation of it.  Fame is highly attractive and no one is fully immune to its allure.  Just like the diet coke that gives you that initial jolt and hint of euphoria while simultaneously killing off your brain sells; fame has the tendency to be a source of short term pleasure while having the capacity to erode one’s soul.

Seeking fame, status, or money is not necessarily bad.  Many virtuous professions produce fame, status, and money — one can easily argue that surgeons deserve every bit of their societal status and salary.   However, fame in isolation can lead to the adoption of harmful cultural values that prioritize individualism over value creation.  Unfortunately, we live in a highly templated culture that has adopted many principles driven by notions of scarcity.  We are taught to fend for ourselves and accrue resources for our own self benefit and self worth.  We are led to believe that only a select few can ever obtain an abundance of resources or attention — so we fight.  We fight hard for “fame”, doing things like preparing for the Ivy League admissions process before we can ride a bike.  This may be a necessary process in today’s world of limited access, however it undermines the sacredness of our childhood curiosity and playfulness.

All people pursue some version of fame.  The extent to which you pursue fame as your primary focus determines if your life’s pursuit is a worthy one.

Fire” burns at one’s core.  Fire represents the flames of passion inside you that illuminates the soul and if used correctly, can illuminate the world.  We’ve all heard stories of our ancestors harnessing the power of fire — how it expanded the practical notion of food, how it protected us from disease and the cold, and how it aided us in developing our understanding of the unknown that night formerly withheld from us.  Our ability to harness fire was a turning point in the evolution of the human race.

Today, fire is now ubiquitous and is used in many different forms.  However, there is one form of fire that we as a species are still trying to harness.  That fire is passion, the fire that we can all generate within us.  With an economy driven by creativity taking shape, the cost of consumer technology and communication tools reducing drastically, and with the mass “amateurization” of many formerly professional trades happening before our eyes the foundation for a passion revolution is forming.  College graduates leave school feeling lost as they’re left with student loans to pay off and an education that has prepared them to work during the industrial revolution.  The young people who are resilient and curious tend to stumble upon something that excites them.  If they’re really lucky (and persistent), that excitement evolves into a passion.  I’ve been lucky enough to be part of environment fueled by passion, audacity, and  hope.  I’ve seen people harness their passion, convert it into a market ready idea, and make a life out of it.  Of course this case is the minority, however given the information communication technology we have available to us today, the possibilities of harnessing passion and converting it into a career exist like never before in history.

It’s not hard to conceptualize the sheer power of fire.  The transformative nature of it’s core properties does not live in isolation, those properties can easily spread (like wildfire) to others.  But is it enough?  Can you build a life out of harnessing fire?  Or is fire merely a mechanism for self service which is inherently limiting?

“Famine”, is indicative of widespread scarcity.  However famine in this case represents the personal sacrifice of living in a state of material scarcity, in order to create abundance for others.  Beyond fame and fire, famine represents an altruistic state where one’s purpose lives outside their own self preservation.  Their contribution to the world is paramount.

Famine is an upstream swim.  The powerful current of ego bears down as us as we franticly try to swim ahead.  The harder we try to swim towards our worthy cause the more cultural values like status, money and looks push us down.  Any outsider witnessing this struggle might be right to call us crazy.  However, once you become captivated by this idea of contribution, you realize that it’s impossible to stop.  That devoting yourself to a worthy cause (or swim) is aligning one’s work with one’s soul.

Of course in a world of material  abundance (a world that the majority of people reading this lives in), pursing this important work does not always require extremely levels of self sacrifice.  However, it always requires extreme sacrifice of one’s ego.  Throughout our lives, we are conditioned to always put ourselves first.  For most, it takes a life changing experience like having a baby, witnessing extreme poverty, having a near death experience to start thinking beyond ourself, and to consider that we might simply be minute contributors to an infinite universe.  Regardless of if you have had a life changing experience or not, you can always tap into a sense of pure altruism.  If you believe we are all connected, that we live in a vast network of connected parts that is more important than the sum of each isolated part, then you have instant access to altruism, purpose, and empathy.

Fame, fire, or famine — which one is most worthy of our life’s pursuit?  No one can answer that for you, however, I would like to make the case for an option.  I believe it’s essential that we pursue all three.  We are complex beings, living in complex systems.  We require recognition and praise for our work.  We are fueled by meaning and passion as it sustains us over time.  We all deep down have an authentic desire to contribute to something bigger than ourselves.  Blend the three pursuits together and see what you get.  You may find yourself becoming uncompromising when selecting or creating your life’s work.  You may find yourself seeing the forest beyond the trees, and blazing a new trail in that forest as your explore.

The world needs people who think creatively and openly about their contribution to the world.  By harnessing the powers of fame, fire, and famine we can discover new ways to become more powerful than ever before.  Can we transmute our inclination to selfishly drive toward our own success into self worth combined with a burning passion?  Can we align our passion with the desire to solve the grand challenges our world faces today?  With this blended approach we may have the confidence, desire, and empathy to reshape the world.

 Photo: Damian Gadal 

Our Meaningless Lives

Monday, January 28th, 2013

I was lucky to grow up with a mom that was…how do I say this…well, different. From the music she listened to, her fascination with testing her financial limitations, to the car she drove, she was different from any of the other moms I knew. She had an unwavering curiosity and sometimes a mild depression due to the harsh reality that was often casted over her unique idealism.

She would tell me things like: “I don’t want you to simply be happy, I want you to do more, to help the people of the world” and “You were made for this world”. These declarations were difficult to absorb being kid whose main objective was to fit in.

Today, her impact on me stretches throughout my life in all areas whether I like it or not. Some of her notions I reject while others I embrace; I believe she doesn’t want it any other way.

One of her passions in particular has always captivated me. She has a profound admiration for her heroes. Thinkers, artists, social reformers that she studies diligently. Books by Nietzsche, Aristotle, Carl Jung and others were consistently sprawled out throughout the house.

I often neglected one of her heroes for no particular reason. Maybe because he was a scientist, or possibly because he didn’t date back to antiquity or the enlightenment. However, Carl Sagan was never on my radar no matter how often she spoke about him in all his awesomeness.

Recently, I have bore witness to his awesomeness. His pleasant exterior patented by his combed over hair and softening smile, coupled with his syrupy voice made him science’s perfect ambassador. His ability to captivate even the most apathetic reader or viewer was a product of his tremendous storytelling ability. Sagan’s purpose was to integrate science into mainstream thought and practices. He challenged our beliefs all while strengthening our faith in our race.

One of his messages in particular struck me at my core.

Man’s search for meaning is a journey that pervades all of humanity. We have created gods, doctrinal stories, and religions to explain worldly phenomena and to give meaning to our lives. Institutions have been created to spread these ideas far and wide and to establish a sense of community that fortifies these ideas. Some people cultivate a more self-derived sense of purpose, which is a more postmodern approach that people like my mother harness to create meaning.

Sagan believed that manmade creations of meaning are often misguided. Science has constantly debunked comforting explanations of our existence; explanations that lead us to believe we’re in control of the universe. Science has the agency to scrutinize everything from concepts we have been indoctrinated with to conclusions deduced by using the scientific method. This leads us to the question: what did Sagan believe science was telling us about our purpose?

He believed science tells us that there is no greater purpose. That life is empty and meaningless. That humanity represents a miniscule microbe of the universe and is therefore relatively insignificant.

This is a terrifying idea to entertain.

Our lives are made of meaning, reasons, and fate. Does this mean that we live in a perpetual lie? Or does it mean that we have to reject the virtues of science to live worthy lives?

What it means is nothing. This statement has no meaning. No meaning gives way to emptiness and emptiness gives way to possibilities.

We as humans should not fear the unknown, our insignificance, or the cosmos. We instead should embrace the emptiness that exists. We should recognize and leverage the unlimited possibilities that this empty space yields.

As Sagan put it: “We are the custodians of life’s meaning”. There is no comic creator of meaning; we are the creators and purveyors of our very own purpose. What can possibly be more empowering than this?

So embrace god, your family, your relationships, your life’s mission—in this world, the possibilities of meaning are endless. Live big and bold lives that extend beyond the imaginable and inspire the minds and souls of others.

“If we crave some cosmic purpose, than let us find ourselves a worthy goal” -Carl Sagan

Thank you to my mother for helping shape my life’s purpose. Your influence has given me the strength and wisdom to live beyond my ephemeral self.

Confessions of a Semi-Intelligent Person and the Power of Awareness, Heuristics and Leadership

Monday, October 1st, 2012

 

Have you ever heard that us human beings only use 10% of our brains?  Well that statement is actually  untrue…it’s an urban myth, and the very existence of the myth points to out our collective mental laziness.  Until a few weeks ago I actually believed the statement was true which might tell you something (yes I have a degree in psychology).  Ok, so now that we know that us humans have the capacity to use much more of our brains then most people believe, why don’t we?

Great question, however maybe I should be speaking for myself when pointing to underutilization of the brain since this is a confession.  So…

I confess…I’m not the smartest.

I am consciously aware that I often shy away from entering great depths of critical thinking since it requires an excruciating amount of energy, when in a discussion with a ridiculously smart person, I often find myself a point or two behind, and you don’t even want to hear about my SAT scores (down with standardized tests!!).

Even after acknowledging the limits of my mental abilities, I will tell you that it does not limit me in my all-around performance.  There are methods and principles that can help people maximize their performance without being cognitively gifted.  Just like the 5’10 former star quarterback Doug Flutie did (average height for a QB is the NFL is 6’3), we can create leverage to make our shortcomings advantages.

Here are a few ways I have overcome an intelligence deficient:

Awareness

I have found awareness to be far more important that intelligence in almost all circumstances.  Awareness to me is the balance between head and heart.  It means growing yourself beyond the knowledge you obtain, and cultivating a strong spiritual core.  It requires one to live with a healthy dose of skepticism while maintaining love and empathy.

The benefits of being an “aware” human being are infinite.  The primary benefit however is that aware people live a higher quality of life than others.  They have a better understanding of self and therefore are more happy and effective.  They have a better ability to connect authentically with people and situations.

Grow your awareness by slowing down, meditating, testing assumptions you have about life, and by spending time with incredible individuals.

Aware people are magnetic, they attract the people and situations to produce the best results.

Heuristics and Hacks

You don’t have to be exceptionally smart to create leverage, you simply have to be clever (or follow the practices of someone clever).  Creating systematic shortcuts when it comes to personal development, skill learning or work can help you maximize results while positioning yourself for sustainable input.

Personally, I use simple hacks to help myself make more quality decisions faster, and keep myself accountable.  For example, I have developed a list of core values that govern my thoughts (I wish all of them), actions, and long term goals.  Qualifying opportunities is turnkey when you have developed a strong set of governing values.  Anything that does not fall in-line with my values either gets dismissed or is not prioritized.

Another great practice is to create routine in areas you typically would not structure.  For example, when it came to diet, I generally would get hungry, acknowledge  my hunger, think about what type of food I feel like and what’s convenient at the moment, and after some intrapersonal deliberation I would go to a restaurant to eat (9 times out of 10 Mexican food).  Now, thanks to my wonderful girlfriend, it’s a much different story.  Our meals are prepared at the beginning of week, with a daily schedule posted.  This has led to: less mental strain allowing me to save decision making for more important issues, less time waited, and most importantly, an extremely healthy diet.

For more clever and practical methods for developing a personal operating  system, take a look at this Tim Ferriss interview where he discusses some interesting hacks for producing results.

Humble Leadership (soft skills)

I have a firm belief that leadership is the foundation that your effectiveness depends on.  Your ability to hold yourself accountable to your own results while empowering others to do the same  lays the ground work for being effective.

The great thing about leadership is that it’s not reserved for the brilliant; anybody can be a leader at any given moment.  Once again, it starts with developing a set of core values and having your actions align with those values.  This is integrity, not just doing what you say, but also doing what you believe in.  Leaders need to have the highest level of integrity.

Why does leadership make a person effective, and often more effective than one dimensional intellectuals?  Because good leaders move people.  They lead with passion and intent which drives people to do the same.  Intelligence often lives in a vacuum while leadership is scalable.

——

From the very beginning of our lives, we are conditional to believe that intelligence is the end all be all.  That belief is as shallow as intelligence often is.  Human beings, consume a level depth that no other living being that we know of do.  To be the best people we can be, we must dive as deep into ourselves as possible and make all the “goodness” rise to the top.

Never adopt the fallacious notion that you are not good enough, as that could not be further than the truth.

As Einstein once stated: “Everybody is a genius.  But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”

 

 

What everyday habit do you wish you had developed earlier in life?

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

Habits make or break a person.

A Quora user posted the question: What Everyday Habit so you Wish you had Developed Earlier in Life? I reflected on some of the habits I have acquired over the past 4-6 years and posted an answer to the question.  You can check it out below:


Looking at people as an opportunity to learn and give, rather than to fear and take advantage of: With ego being such a pervasive entity of our human existence, it’s easy to see why most people fear, envy and take advantage of others. The best way to combat these ego induced tendencies try forgetting about yourself and thinking of others first. This doesn’t mean don’t take baths or pay your mortgage…it means listen, learn and see where the commonalities are. Once you have a paradigm shift in the people department life gets that much more enjoyable for you and the people you’re around.

Reading the right stuff: It’s worth listing a 100 more times…however, we need to be more specific cause there’s alot of crap out there. Read Emerson, William James, Seth Godin, Napoleon Hill, Earhart Tolle and other authentic authors. Read stuff that will help you dive deeper into yourself…and add practical value to your life–like build a successful startup or life location independent. Limit your consumption of the news.

Putting contribution first and expanding awareness: Looks beyond status…yes you can become a lawyer, doctor and I’m sure make a difference…but because of the status layered over the professions much of their work can be convoluted.

Put adding value first…change the world…we need you. Start by putting contribution first. Sometimes all it takes a smile…to see the impact you make on someone to shift paradigms. Looks at what’s wrong with the world and transform that piece. Never loose site of what’s right with the world.

Make a difference in someone’s life each day…and dedicate your life to making a lasting positive impact.

Don’t listen to your parents (in some cases): I love my parents…and they’re right alot of the time. But your heart is more right…go with your gut, your dreams and follow what excites you.

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What are some good habits that you have formed that have gotten you where you are today?


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